You know that saying people use to break up with someone, you know, the classic line “It’s not you, it’s me.”
This line is told with puppy dog sad eyes to their soon to be ex in hopes that it will soften the blow that they no longer want to be with you anymore. Luckily, I don’t think I’ve used this line or been given it in my love relationships, but I have had a number of friends who have used this infamous line.
In my world, the saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Is seriously the truest saying, especially when I’m feeling very anxious about an event or date night coming up.
Case in point, my sweet neighbor Valerie, who I love and am so lucky to have her want to hang out with me…little ol’ anxious me. Plans are to see a movie tonight at either 8pm or 9:15pm. Then have dinner. It’s the cutest girl date I could ask for. The problem is, the last time I went to a Saturday night movie showing, it was a completely packed theater and I couldn’t stand it any longer that I walked out just as the previews came on. Luckily, we were refunded tickets but what felt the most pain was me and the worrisome look on my husband’s face. I hated that look. It made me feel worse about my problem.
“What’s wrong with me? Will I never be able to see a movie with my husband or family/friends again? I certainly don’t want to have a panic attack in front of them. I don’t want them to be mad at me for ruining their movie night.” I always thoughts.
I clearly remember feeling defeat that night as I cried standing beside our car. I didn’t know what to do. This was 4 years ago.
Flash forward to today and I’ve seen movies successfully with my husband and with others. No panic attacks but still feel hesitant at first. It has worked well since we will see a movie during the day, like the first showing on a Monday or an early showing on Saturday. I even sat at the very top of the movie theater. Yes, the thought of me having to leave and use the bathroom or something ran across my mind, and picturing the worst that could happen like I would fall and trip loudly during a monologue or something. Luckily, that hasn’t happened. The more I went, the less scary going to the movies was for me and I was able to enjoy seeing new movies.
I still need to work on improving myself, though. I usually go early like I said, and my seat in the theater is usually down below and basically an aisle seat…easy to escape. I plan on working on sitting in the middle row, right in the center, and stay there the entire movie, with like 10 people on each side of me. If I were to get up, I’d have to say, “excuse me.” to at least 10 strangers, coming and going. Eventually, I will do this on a busy Saturday night. Then once I conquer that, I do that but on an opening night of a popular movie. Eeeeek. Getting a little flustered just thinking about that.
Valerie is on her way over now and we’ll see how this goes. Maybe we’ll skip the movie and just go to dinner. Maybe we’ll do both. I know what’s healthy is to do both, face my fear and conquer it. But sometimes I just have to psych myself up for it.
So, I put on my favorite lipstick, comfy jeans, and my refillable $3 popcorn bucket and hope and pray the 5pm showing isn’t terrible.Take that anxiety! I’ll be sure to update later to let you know if I actually faced it or not.
Are there places that you are fearful to go to or places you avoid on purpose? I’d love to know and know I’m not the only one. Just know that when being a friend to someone with any type of social anxiety disorder, plans can get canceled at the last-minute. Please don’t hate us, please understand that it’s not because we want to mess up your plans, string you along, or cause you any issues…it’s simply something that we deal with and (hopefully) most of us are working on conquering.
Do you or any friends or family members suffer from anxiety disorders? I’d love to know. I hope you are having a nice and fun Saturday so far! <3<3
Thanks for always reading!