2015: No More People Pleasing

It wasn’t until I started my job that I knew something about myself had to change. Of course it wasn’t my amazing personality or good looks, but it was the way I was too much of a passive people pleaser and a borderline doormat. My teacher noticed this about me and called me on it. That’s just one of the perks of having a teacher who is also a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor with so many years in practice: they know their shit.

At first I was in denial.

“Pffft. Whatever! I am not a passive people pleaser with Geisha-like qualities (except for the whole sex thing).” I thought to myself. But then I REALLY thought about it. I could be more assertive. I CAN be more assertive! But, I didn’t want to come off like a bitch….that’s just not who I am. I was puzzled until another blogger introduced me to a book called, “Nice Girls Can Finish First: Getting the Results You Want and the Respect You Deserve…While Still Being Liked.” by Daylle Deanna Schwartz, who is a Master’s level counselor. A self-empowerment counselor.  I must say that this book changed me in such a positive way. (Perhaps self-empowerment is one speciality area I will focus on in my career? I instantly loved the idea and love empowering other women to take charge in their lives so there’s an idea!)

nice girls can finish first book cover

I became more assertive, not only at work but also less second guessing myself over small decisions. Those would crush me! Enough was enough. After reading this book and identifying myself as a people pleaser, I now know how to handle myself better in ways that benefit myself as a person. No more cursing whatever it was that I let slip away, or saying, “Yes!” to an invite or task I didn’t want to do. I learned that the world doesn’t shrivel up and die if I tell it, “No, thank you!” I was amazed. I didn’t lose that friend because I told them, “No.” They didn’t start yelling at me or cursing my name. My world didn’t end. It actually got better.

To my ladies who are looking to become stronger as a whole, not just physically but mentally, I suggest this book. It offers tales from other “recovering doormats” and explains examples in the easiest way. There’s still hope! You can be happy with your decisions!

The other day my teacher was making an example and said that this lady person had “Brass ovaries.” as opposed to brass balls. I called out and said, “So she was being assertive? No need to describe her ovaries thankyouverymuch.” Am I right?!

One criticism I have about the book is that it’s impossible to have everyone like you. You just can’t. If someone is going to think of me as a bitch then so be it. I cannot control how others think about me. Repeat. YOU cannot control how others think of you. So make sure you say and do what’s right for you. If you still feel good about yourself afterwards then you’re all good. I can’t help it if people stop liking me for finally standing up for myself.

Assertive Pose!
Assertive Pose!

What do you think about asserting yourself? Do you think it’s important to be assertive in life? I’d love to know!

I hope you have a perfectly pink Wednesday!

<3 always,

christina

P.S. Thank you to the blogger who introduced me to this fabulous book!! <3

Make Your Own Taylor Swift “1989” Album Cover

Happy Monday!

I hope that you’re off from work today and enjoying a Monday in your PJs. If you’re working then I have something that will make your day at work more fun.

Who hasn’t seen Miss Swift’s beautiful cover of her “1989” album?? I thought it was such a cool photo and was curious about what filter she used so that I can be cool a la Taylor.

Taylor_Swift_-_1989

Just my luck, the first Google search I ran found this awesome sauce of a Buzzfeed article. It’s a Make Your Own album cover just like T. Swift’s!! And it’s super easy. The hard part was choosing a photo of yourself that went with well with the filter and let’s be honest,how you would want your “imaginary” album cover to look like. I say “imaginary” because I am pretending that my blog, Lifebeinggirly, is famous for strong, smart, and funny girly girls all around the world and this is my billboard.

taylor swift inspired

 

What do you think? I’d love to know if you made yourself one!!

I hope you are having a great start to your week!

Thank you so much for reading!

<3 always,

christina

 

Let’s Stay Connected!
DARK-PINK-INSTAGRAM[1]dark-pink-pinterest[1]g5859dark-pink-googleplus[1]dark-pink-twitter[1]dark-pink-bloglovin[1]g5869dark-pink-email[1]g5889

Humor Makes Everything Better

Happy weekend!!

Oh my gosh. It feels sooooo good to be on here and blogging!! I’ve missed it so much! I have tried to get a new schedule in the works now that I’m a working girl. Please don’t unfollow me for not posting every day! I would be so sad. =(

It’s been kinda crazy the last few weeks. Since both my husband and I got employed (woot!woot!) and I started school again, and we only have one car, we have been strategically planning our days as to who gets dropped off first and all that fun stuff.  We haven’t planned this much since our wedding! It’s been a lot of fun for us since we attack it with a team attitude.

Who here plans their week with OCD-like finesse? I need your help! I need to start planning to bring a lunch or at least a snack to work as I have run on pure awesomeness all day, and then coming home at 10pm to eat whatever I have at home OR stopping at McDonald’s for a $.69 cheeseburger. There must be a better way!

Now that I have a set schedule for work and school, I will be able to plan better than these past weeks. YAY!

How do you plan your week? Do you write out the week with meal prep and everything, or do you just wing it as life comes at you and then you improvise? i.e. eating and drinking when you can. I’d love to know!

Annnnnnd, even though I’m 31 years old and considered an adult, I’m still going to stay my cheesy, corny, girly self! No matter how busy or upside down your world changes, humor grounds you and makes you chill again. Let’s not forget that! So with that being said, take a cue from Tina Belcher and love the little, er, nice things in life such as butts.

<3always,

Christina

take-a-berry-break-40-photos-366

It’s Okay to Fail.

There’s a precautionary saying “You’re just setting yourself up for failure.” or “You don’t want to be(come) a failure.”

Blame it on being raised in a lower-income family, a minority, a woman, self-conscious, or ambition, but the idea of failing or becoming a failure sits very high in my freak out ratio, one being totally zen after a hard Jillian Michaels’ workout and ten being stuck on a filled to capacity airplane that is experiencing turbulence and I’m stuck in the middle seat and I have to go to the bathroom really bad but the seatbelt sign is on. Failing is up there close to that.

I imagine failing before social media was around was not that big of a deal. Sure, your family and close friends knew what was up. But then you’d have to not only hear about others being successful at what they were doing, but then actually seeing it in your feed is very different. Their new car. Their new house. Their second or third baby on the way. Their Master’s degree. Vacationing out of the country. The list goes on.

It seems like whatever you wanted or imagined for yourself is miles away and yet you see your peers being successful at it. It’s so disheartening to see that. Especially when you tried to be just as successful but fall short.

cher clueless gif

But when I think about it, is life really that better if everything went a-ok? If there weren’t any turbulence in your crowded airplane ride or always having help when needed, be it money, cliques, or nepotism. Yes, that person has that but I’m here to say that this person doesn’t have it better than you. They never knew what it was like to fail. They never experienced having to do something for themselves and to pick themselves up after seeing their dreams fall over everywhere like a ten level house of cards.

I’ve learned that it’s not all about being lucky and well-educated. It’s your character and perseverance. It’s about gathering your deck of cards again and rebuilding your dreams. And another great thing is that you learned a lesson from failing the first time (or second or third) and decide it has to be done a certain way. Different from the ways you tried earlier.

It’s okay to fail or to be a failure in life. It shows that you attempted something you were interested in. You went for something, you showed up. Some people don’t even show up…and I know that because I used to be one of those people who never showed up because of fear and anxiety.

My plan was to graduate by the end of this year. It’s my personal goal and something I’m striving for. Unfortunately, I got bad news in that I won’t be getting any financial aid or loan assistance for my classes for the next two terms. So, this means I won’t be able to register for classes and have to wait until I save enough money on my own and pay for school myself. I never had to do this as I’ve been able to secure loans and federal aid….until now.

The easy way for me would be to ask from family, or get a credit card with a line of credit for $1600. That would be great!! However, would that really build my character? I’m taking this as a lesson to be learned. To find out what it’s like for those who don’t take out student loans and pay their way through college without the help of their family or loans.

I cried about this news this morning when I found out that I won’t be receiving any help at all. I am THIS close to finishing, I have a job site and was offered a place at the company!! But, of course life has its asshole mysterious ways and now it’s Plan D. Or is it Plan E now? I’m not sure.

As I drove to work this morning I had a realization that it’s okay to fail at not completing my goal. That it just means that life wanted me to slow down and focus on other things at the moment. Perhaps it wanted me to learn how tough it is to pay for school on your own.

Whatever the reason, I’m okay with failing to graduate this year and seeing my peers graduate and move to their new phase. I know this will in turn help me when another failure hits me in the future. At least I will be equipped with the know-how and characteristics to be even more successful. Just remember that failing is not the end of the world, and that it will make you a stronger, wiser, and unbreakable as a person and professional in the end.

cher gif stressing

Everything will be okay even if you fail. Don’t give up!

clueless cher gif

What are your thoughts on failing? Have you ever felt like a failure? What did you do after? I’d love to know!

Have a happy day/night!

<3 always,

christina

New Year, New Fridge Collage

Just like the title reads, “New year, new fridge collage” I am very excited to share my fridge art with you. Just so you know, it does extend about 2 inches more to the right but I figured you can see most of it.

I love taking the time and selecting photos from the year to print out. And, since Ronnie is working at a place that develops photos, he can simply pick up my package prints on his way out.

Seeing the shiny and glossy memories printed out brings a smile to my face. What a year! Great moments and good times, for sure. I took my time placing each photo in its perfect spot on the fridge. It was so much fun and something I look forward to!

What do you think? Do you enjoy making collages or scrapbooking at all?

My friends and I were discussing that people who worked at photo developing places must have had fun looking at all the photos being developed. Mind you, this was waaaaaaayyy before and “album” or MySpace/Facebook to digitally upload photos. I mean those places where getting film developed in an hour was the highest technology around.

Do you still print out photos? If so, I’d love to know!

I hope you have a lovely start to your week! Here’s to my 2015 fridge collage and to making many more happy memories for the collage next year! <3

<3 always,

christina

Collage

What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

Lifebeinggirly’s 2014 in review

This was by far the coolest mail in my inbox today. WordPress sent my 2014 year in blogging and I found the stats to be so interesting! It’s really crazy knowing that tomorrow is the last day of 2014, and that we will be writing “2015” on things.

I want to thank you, yes YOU! for stopping by and reading/subscribing/passing by my blog this past year. YOU helped me get these amazing stats and I couldn’t have had a better stat report than this. <3

This was my most popular post and so I wanted to share it with you again. I hope you feel beautiful today meme

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 38,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 14 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

There you have it! I couldn’t be happier with these stats. Thank you so much again!

Any plans for celebrating ringing in the new year? I’d love to know!

Have a safe and happy new year! See ya in 2015!!

<3 always,

christina