I’ve been a passive person most of my life. It wasn’t till recently when I turned 30 that I realized that I needed to become more assertive and direct with my thoughts and feelings, especially if I want to be a successful professional. In order to be strong in my professional life, I need to start being direct in my everyday life.
I honestly think that I’m waaaay better than I was before. I remember staying quiet when someone said or did something that I didn’t like, or said, “Yes.” when I really wanted to say, “No.” I blame it on always being told to ask for permission first. When I was younger, it was all about waiting your turn, asking for the OK from some authority figure, or waiting on your teacher to come look at your work to make sure you got it right before you proceeded to the next problem. Maybe it’s so deeply ingrained from these experiences that it’s hard for us (women more so) to be in a leadership role and not just part of the team.
You’ve heard the expression that men who are direct are “just being leaders” where women who are direct are being “bossy” or (gasp!) being “bitchy.”
Being considered a bitch is something I never want to be called. But then again, do I want to be called a passive, weak person instead? I feel like I can’t win. There MUST be a medium where I can be a #GIRLBOSS and not hurt anyone’s feelings. Or do I do what’s right for me, even though it might hurt someone’s feelings?? W.W. S. D.? What would Sophia (Amoruso) do?
Perhaps there’s my style of being direct and assertive, in my girly way. I think there can be Girly Boss where I’m still nice and thoughtful of others feelings yet still do and say what’s right for me. I wonder if this exists. As my husband lovingly looks over what I’m looking at on Pinterest and says, “If you’re looking online what assertive is, then you’re not being assertive.” Thanks, hun.
What are your thoughts on this matter? I’d love to know! In the meantime, I will be working on being a Girly Boss and share my findings with you.
I mean, if Beyonce can do it, so can I! (And so can you!!) I love having inspiring and strong women for role models. Don’t you?